hmmm

hello there i'm back!jus had physics today which was like...teruk la. nuff said. was in a daze after de pp.like, brainfreeze. anyways now my zhadi neh is in melbourne...quite sad...on the first night when i was studying back in sgp...i was there w my ears pricked, half expecting to hear the jingling of the keys as it always did when she comes home at night...half expecting to hear her call Pa! when she passes the living room, telling my pa bout her day...half expecting to hear her jeans legs bruch past each other as she makes her way to my ma's room to have a chat with her...half expecting the knock of the study room door as she pushes it open to come in...Hello!how was ur day? she'd ask,ok,i'd say, then maybe tell her some highlights of the day before she whisks off to bathe...then the sound of her jeans legs again as she marches to the toilet...

it's funny, really. we dun often talk, sometimes i dun even c her for days...she goes to work..then comes home late...it's only after she quit working a month b4 she left to study in melbourne tt we interact more...so wat's so funny? well it's supposed to be like usual now...i mean,i hardly see her anyway, so wat difference wld it make?but hohoho...when it came to the time when we had to say goodbye...man.we were warned not to breakdown in order not to affect her..so tt it's not goodbye goodbye...ok so when my dad shook hands w her by the road, i was like, ok.handshake.might not cry.then he hugged her..then uh-oh, i thot.i'm SO gonna cry...then my ma hugged her, n u shld've seen..ma was trying so hard to hold back her tears her eyes were red, her nose was red, but she was holding holding it back...then my nose twitched. oh.my.i went and gave zhadi a quick hug but tt was enuf to burst forth the springs!o gosh. i cldnt look at her. i dint wanna affect her. it was soooo difficult. nancy hugged her nx, but i din see it. my back was facing them. then we had to cross the road to where the cab was waiting, while zhadi neh stayed on this side. when we reached the other side we kept waving, my ma telling her again n again to go inside, go inside...to go into the safe arms of the hostel where she was staying...but there she stood, stil waving. i couldnt take it anymore. i dashed into the cab, sat down, n waved. waved thru the dirty window of the cab, hoping she wld see only the movement of my hand, n not the tears streaming down my face. i dared not wipe my tears for fear of her seeing the movement of my hand across the road thru the dirty window of the cab.we waved for a long time.then we had to go. we watched the last glimpse of her waving as the cab moved off slowly, then watched as she turned around and headed back to the hostel.

funny how, even tho we have not much to talk bout over the phone, sometimes at home, where i go to her only for consultation of opinions,advice, n jus to act cute to make her laugh, i stil miss her. i guess tt's wat sisters are for.

miss u zhadi.big hug from sunny bunny.